Helicopters…And Other Stupid Parent-Aircraft Metaphors
Here’s a new one for Webster to add to his dictionary for the next edition: Helicopter Parents – n. A parent who “hovers” over their child. Ex. A parent who gets a limo for their child’s sixth grade graduation, calls the principal because their child was last in the lunch line, publicly chides the Little League coach for not starting their son at pitcher, or calls the college professor to complain about the B+ that their 20-year-old daughter just received.
Since I began teaching, I’ve encountered a few of these helicopters in my time. They range from the Ultra-Lights (silently walking their fourth grade child all the way into the classroom every morning) to the U.S. Army Apache Strike Force model (ready to shoot the teacher, or any other authority figure, at a moment’s notice). Recent blogs and articles across the Net have taken the time to vilify and analyze this particular model of parent. For a more recent and outrageous example, see Craig Price’s site on the Monster Parents of Japan (yes, this phenomenon has spread out of North America).
Since this is the Parent-Teacher Blog focusing on current education issues, I’ll try to narrow my discussion of Helicopter Parents to my own view as a parent AND a teacher. First of all, I need to characterize myself and my wife. We are not Helicopters. We are more like F-117 Stealth Fighters. You won’t see us until there’s trouble, but when there is, you (or our children more likely) won’t know we’re there until it’s too late.
Second, as a teacher, let me say that I kind of miss my Helicopters. Recently, our school changed boundary lines to a lower socio-economic geographic section of our city. Now we mainly have UFO’s. If you see them, it’s just for a split second, and nobody believes you if you do report seeing them. They also tend to abduct their child from class a lot; taking them out for weeklong vacations to the planet Mexico and such. After I encounter them, I feel like I’ve been “probed,” if you know what I mean.
While we’re taking the metaphoric approach to comparing parents with aircraft, I’ve also noticed some Jumbo Jets. Enough said there. Get outside and play with your kids for goodness sake.
Then there are the Gliders, who feel powerless and go whichever way the hot air that comes from their child’s mouth blows them. “The teacher said I don’t have to do the science project. He said it was if ‘you only wanted to do it’.”
“Okay.”
Say, “dee-ta-dee” while contorting your face and smacking your chest with the back of your hand.
And don’t forget about the Dogfighters. Imagine a Messerschmidt and a Mustang in a perilous dogfight, shooting at each other like in a History Channel program about World War II. (These are the divorced parents who accuse each other of neglecting the poor child they left behind in the separation. I try to stay out of these as much as possible, but usually one of them crashes from the sky upon their child’s head.)
What kind of an aircraft are you?
From a teacher’s point of view, I’d like you to be a cross between an AWACS (radar plane) and a Cargo Transporter, like the Air Force version. Why? Because you’re extremely useful to all of us (and by “us,” I mean your child, his class, and me). You help us when we’re in a pinch. When I can’t find chaperones to go on a field trip, you step in and not only mind your own child, but a couple of others, too. When something doesn’t seem right, you get clarification before ordering an air strike. Your presence ensures that your child goes to school prepared and peaceful. You’re there to back me and your child up, while at the same time promoting personal responsibility for all parties involved.
I don’t know when parents became flying machines, but I guess we all have to evolve somehow. Whatever we all are, we need to make sure we’re flying level and aware, lest we come to a crashing halt which hurts our precious passengers.
“http://technorati.com/tag/parenting” rel=”tag”>parenting
Leave a Reply