What’s Wrong That Child? It’s the Economy, Stupid.
The unemployment rate is up. The stock market is down. Foreclosures are up. Personal income is down. Gas prices are up. This is not news; it’s everyday news.
Is your child affected by this most current education issue? That all depends on her parents and teachers.
This is the first recession I’ve taught school in, and it’s an eye-opener. In the past, I’ve helped my students deal with such things as divorces and family death. These events are usually sudden, and the kids eventually learn to adjust.
So what’s wrong with children lately? Like Bill Clinton used to say, “It’s the economy, stupid. “ Dad is getting laid off, families have to move because of foreclosure (or because they can’t pay the rent), or the car which takes kids to school got repossessed last night. These are not month-long emergencies like typical family stuff. These are months-long, if not years-long, ordeals. If not handled correctly at home or in the classroom, the effects can be severe not only academically, but mentally, physically, and emotionally as well.
Children can already sense when something has gone wrong in their home. So don’t lie to them, but do shield your child as much as you can and talk positively. Say something like, “Dad will probably get another job soon,” or “We’re probably going to have to tighten our belts a little to get through this time.” “You just focus on your ‘job’ at school.” Beware of the “talk-show” philosophy of letting your child know every small detail. Please don’t treat them as your best friend and cry on their shoulders. It’s okay to let them know, “Dad got laid off from his job,” but they don’t need to know the gory details: Dad’s stressed and he might start drinking again, or you won’t be able to pay the electric bill this month.
Little minds have enough to worry about with school, their teacher, and friends. They don’t need the extra burden. Keep them away from the news for awhile. Every time I turn on CNN lately, it’s been nothing but bad news. Some kids will naturally turn away from the negative stuff and focus on the positive. However, there are quite a few who will internalize what’s going on in the greater world and apply it to their own situation. Even though they can’t do anything about their family’s money problems, they’ll worry about their parents and their problems…just like you’re doing now.
For teachers, dealing with students in these situations demands a delicate touch. Kids will feel everything from despair to depression to anger. Keeping these kids focused through this time is a challenge in itself. It’s important to instill in these children a constant sense of purpose and accomplishment. It’s just as important that teachers dig deep to find compassion and empathy in themselves for what that child is going through.
But they can only do this if they know what’s going on at home. Chances are the child won’t tell them.
If your family is going through tough times financially, fight off any embarrassment and shame you may feel, and lean on your child’s teacher for support. Keep him abreast of any situations going on at home. Your child spends a lot of time at school, and he needs an extra set of eyes on him during these rough periods. Keep in touch with your child’s teacher to see how he’s acting at school. Focus your youngster on academics, if anything to keep her mind off of what’s going on in your household budget.
Teachers are not inexperienced with a tight or non-existent budget. Whether it’s from their own childhoods, making it through college, or starting off as a substitute, teachers know what it’s like to deal with a little or no-money situation. Talk to your child’s teacher. I guarantee they can only help you and your child.
You’ll probably get through this. The big question is, “Will your child?” The big answer is, “Yes, he can.”
Do exercise caution when shielding your child. Treating children like imbeciles doesn’t magically render them unaware of the “gory details,” but instead instills a sense of shame. Encourage them to ask questions, and answer them honestly. A “we don’t talk about that here” approach only increases confusion and fear. Belittlement makes a child wonder how they might have contributed to the problem, and causes frustration when they realize they’re not going to be entrusted with honest answers.
Dear Columbine,
I agree with your comment about treating children like imbeciles, and answering their questions honestly. As I said in my article, children can sense immediately when something has gone wrong in their home. What I’m trying to stress here is that there is a line between honesty and going overboard. Parents sometimes tend to “let it all hang out.” Children don’t need that burden.
I also think kids want to know what they can do to help. I had a conversation about cutting back, and my kids want to help. One offered money from her bank. I encouraged them to shut off lights and to not waiste food. They were small suggestions for small kids, but they felt that they were helping the family. There are a few good lessons that can come out of a bad economy.
Thanks, dcowart. Good point. I’d also like to add that the kids seemed a lot more interested in money and the economy this year when we were learning social studies. A lot of good can come out of it by turning negatives into positives.